26-01-2006, 12:10 PM
Gisteravond Desperado op TV met die vreselijke Antonio Banderas.... maar ook met 1 van de best vertelde moppen in een film. Gister dus nog even speciaal de oogjes open gehouden om die scene in de bar te zien waarin Tarantino de oude Cheech een goede mop verteld:
This reminds me of a joke. This guy, he comes into a bar, walks up to the
Bartender and says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you Three-
Hundred dollars that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a
single solitary drop."
The Bartender says.. {mumbling} now one more time this glass is like a good ten
feet away. He says, "Now wait a minute. Let me get this straight.Your trying to
tell me you're gonna bet me Three-Hundred dollars that YOU can piss standing
over here waaay over there, into that glass, and not spill a single drop"?
The guy looks up smiling and says, {whispering} "That's right."
The Bartender says, "Young man you gotta bet!"
The guy says, "O.K. here we go, here we go." He pulls out his thang. He's
looking at the glass, man he's thinking about the glass, he's thinking about the
glass, he thinks glass, he's thinking of the glass, think glass, thinking about
hid dick. Dick, glass. Dick, glass. Dick, glass. Be the glass. Dick, glass.
Dick, glass. Dick, glass.
And then 'SWOOOSH' . He let's it rip! And he's {Pissing Sound} ..he's pissin'
all over the place, man! {Pissing Sound} He's pissin' on the bar..{Pissing
Sound} he's pissin' on the stools, on the floor, on the phone.. {Pissing Sound}
on the Bartender.. {Pissing Sound} He's pissing Everywhere EXCEPT the fucking
glass!! Right.
O.K. So, Bartender, He's laughing his fucking ass off, he's Three-Hundred
dollars richer. He's like, "Ha Ha Ha Ha." Piss drippin' off his face. "Ha Ha Ha
Ha" He says, "You FUCKIN' idiot, man. You everything EXCEPT the glass!! You owe
me Three-Hundred dollars punta." And he goes, "Excuse me, just one, one
second." Goes in the back of the bar, and in the back there's a couple of guys
playing pool. He walks over to them... {Whisper Sounds} Comes back to the bar
and goes, "Here you go Mr. Bartender, three." {Slap Sound}
And the Bartenders like, "WHAT the fuck are you so happy about, you just lost
Three-Hundred dollars you idiot?!"
The guy says, "Well, you see those guys over there. I just bet them Five-Hundred
dollars a PIECE, that I could piss on your bar, piss on your floor, piss on your
phone, and piss on YOU, and not only would you be not mad about it...... you'd
be happy..."
{Quentin Laughing His Ass Off}
That's some funny shit, huh!
This reminds me of a joke. This guy, he comes into a bar, walks up to the
Bartender and says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you Three-
Hundred dollars that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a
single solitary drop."
The Bartender says.. {mumbling} now one more time this glass is like a good ten
feet away. He says, "Now wait a minute. Let me get this straight.Your trying to
tell me you're gonna bet me Three-Hundred dollars that YOU can piss standing
over here waaay over there, into that glass, and not spill a single drop"?
The guy looks up smiling and says, {whispering} "That's right."
The Bartender says, "Young man you gotta bet!"
The guy says, "O.K. here we go, here we go." He pulls out his thang. He's
looking at the glass, man he's thinking about the glass, he's thinking about the
glass, he thinks glass, he's thinking of the glass, think glass, thinking about
hid dick. Dick, glass. Dick, glass. Dick, glass. Be the glass. Dick, glass.
Dick, glass. Dick, glass.
And then 'SWOOOSH' . He let's it rip! And he's {Pissing Sound} ..he's pissin'
all over the place, man! {Pissing Sound} He's pissin' on the bar..{Pissing
Sound} he's pissin' on the stools, on the floor, on the phone.. {Pissing Sound}
on the Bartender.. {Pissing Sound} He's pissing Everywhere EXCEPT the fucking
glass!! Right.
O.K. So, Bartender, He's laughing his fucking ass off, he's Three-Hundred
dollars richer. He's like, "Ha Ha Ha Ha." Piss drippin' off his face. "Ha Ha Ha
Ha" He says, "You FUCKIN' idiot, man. You everything EXCEPT the glass!! You owe
me Three-Hundred dollars punta." And he goes, "Excuse me, just one, one
second." Goes in the back of the bar, and in the back there's a couple of guys
playing pool. He walks over to them... {Whisper Sounds} Comes back to the bar
and goes, "Here you go Mr. Bartender, three." {Slap Sound}
And the Bartenders like, "WHAT the fuck are you so happy about, you just lost
Three-Hundred dollars you idiot?!"
The guy says, "Well, you see those guys over there. I just bet them Five-Hundred
dollars a PIECE, that I could piss on your bar, piss on your floor, piss on your
phone, and piss on YOU, and not only would you be not mad about it...... you'd
be happy..."
{Quentin Laughing His Ass Off}
That's some funny shit, huh!
I feed the pigeons, I sometimes feed the sparrows too, it gives me a sense of enormous well-being.